Encyclopedia Entry: "Unispeak"

From The Acadian Xenolinguistic Encyclopedia, 4th ed.

Published 2871 Æx. by The Ayn Rand University Press: Chesapeake, Acadica

Unispeak, or Wuntung natively (from Classical Anglic One Tongue), is a degenerate variant of Classical Anglic used exclusively within the largely uneducated Commune. It is characterized by a highly simplified grammar and extensive borrowings from prominent minority languages spoken by the proto–Children of the Dole of collectivist Old Earth.

Objectivist linguists have yet to come to a consensus as to exactly when and where the Unispeak dialect originated, as its written history spans only a few generations; however, all agree that it has existed in some form since the fall of Old Earth, at the very latest. The Zgl’jan Language Group has compiled the following hypotheses regarding the historical rise of Unispeak:

1.      Spontaneous demotic evolution: The everyday speech of the Old Earth collectivist population naturally began to simplify and degrade due to low government education standards and the intelligence-lowering influence of pop culture. This can readily explain the near-imbecilic simplicity of Unispeak grammar.

2.      Direct result of demographic shifts: As waves of migrants began to transform the demographic makeup of Old Earth Anglophone society, they began to have an unconscious influence on Classical Anglic syntax and vocabulary, importing words and concepts from their native languages into what would eventually become known as Unispeak.

3.      Indirect result of demographic shifts: Changes in Classical Anglic vocabulary and grammar were not the result of foreign migrants’ direct influence on the language, but were deliberately made by native Anglic speakers, who sought to simplify and de-Anglicize their speech for the sake of “tolerance.”

4.      State-mandated language reform: The collectivist governments of Old Earth legislated artificial changes in popular speech in order to promote their timeless principle of “tolerance” and “understanding,” such to not offend those who spoke Anglic as a foreign language.

While there is some evidence that Old Earth authoritarian governments in North America and Europe mandated the use of whimsical pronouns for similar ideological reasons, it is unlikely that Unispeak was entirely state-created, as it lacks a standardized spelling or officially accepted grammar. However, this may also be explained by the corporatist collectivists’ distaste for quality standards of any kind.

Arterran xenolexicographers have noted that historical Unispeak borrowings from Old Earth migrant languages generally fall into two categories: third-world proto-Latigón contributed primarily to everyday vocabulary (i.e., common nouns and adjectives, typically replacing words of Germanic origin), and ancient Central Semitic relatives of modern Ashaamese provided most replacements for more formal Romance-derived vocabulary.

In the following quote by Sugar Pastures, the corporatist collectivist PCBC’s premiere journalistic charlatan, one can immediately identify the Anglic origins of Unispeak, while simultaneously recognizing the mutual unintelligibility with the considerably more sophisticated Millennial Anglic of the Colonies:

“Aye shacke who sheed and crare The Patriot Hour be undeniably nottaliemed and misinformed. That cassese news-sald be sool a propagator of gallie and Colonial lies, slanderin the quiss nature and moctrem nomp of ABAC and tode that it stand for. A support The Patriot Hour be a inker th’appure of tode thatses in need of our maley support a sackle the pess of theirs eckstadey hardships in theirs kear a veefe a vide libber of trabick. Tode bess Misha Matsumoto open their bock, they betray tode mures across the galaxy and sool fuel the shameful Shatarinphobia that now be rampant in this Kunberg; there be much yarkist, nottaliemed, selfish, gallie, unforward kaukishes in this galaxy, and theys be’ll holded accountable, but Miss Matsumoto be wun of the baddest. And I, fowun, not sitwill by and listen to their hate speech anymass.”

“Any person who watches and believes The Patriot Hour is undeniably uneducated and misinformed. That despicable news outlet is only a propagator of ignorance and Colonial lies, slandering the good nature and respected name of ABAC and all that it stands for. To support The Patriot Hour is to deny the plight of all those in need of our financial support to ease the burden of their economic hardships in their choice to live a life free of employment. Each time Misha Matsumoto opens her mouth, she betrays all women across the galaxy and only fuels the shameful Shatarinphobia that is now rampant in this Convergency; there are many racist, uneducated, selfish, ignorant, backward bigots in this galaxy, and they will be held accountable, but Miss Matsumoto is one of the worst. And I, for one, will not sit by and listen to her hate speech any longer.”